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"Good Vibes Only" Is a Form of Toxic Positivity That Doesn't Serve Anyone

The phrase "good vibes only" became hugely popular during one of the most challenging chapters of my life. I had been fighting for my life for YEARS and no longer wanted to even be alive. The debilitating illness that had taken over my mind and body (and basically stolen away my dreams, relationships, and financial security) had baffled even the most experienced doctors in Chicago, where I lived at the time.

My life was in ruins - for a very, VERY long time.

While the rest of the world was happily spreading this seemingly innocent message in bright pink neon letters, I was pleading and begging for a miracle.

The only vibes I was even capable of at that time were the honest ones.

The "do whatever it takes to get me out of this hell" kind of honest.

There was no space in my brain to even begin to pretend that life wasn't painful and excruciating right then. (Anyone who has been through chronic Lyme disease will know exactly what I'm talking about.)

To be honest, I kind of thought this phrase would be a fad and that, eventually, everyone would be able to see that this isn't how life REALLY IS, but I have been surprised to see that it's still around - alive and well in the media and on social media.

I think it's because we're afraid that if we allow the other vibes (you know, the very real human emotions like sadness, frustration, and fear) a place at the table, then there won't be any room left for the "good" ones.

But what I have seen over and over and OVER again is that life is a mixed bag.

It's full of BOTH the beautiful AND the messy.

It's not either/or.


And yes, I will be careful who I share my honest vibes with - and yes, I will try every single day of my life to do whatever I possibly can to SPARK JOY and cultivate a healthy mindset (using the resources that I have at the time) but I will also be compassionate with myself when I need to express and work through the other vibes of life.

They are all welcome.

Every last one of them.

Here is a great YouTube video with author/therapist, Whitney Goodman, that addresses this topic.

I love what she has to say about it.

Lots of love,



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