It's enticing to think we can control our lives as if we were our very own genie in a bottle. To think that all we have to do is think positive thoughts and the universe will give us whatever it is we desire IS pretty amazing.
Until it isn't.
And you realize you've spent way too many hours shaming yourself (or allowing others to shame you) because you still have medical bills and a complicated health story that doesn't care how many "universe" books you've read or how many "manifesting" steps you've followed.
And you realize you've spent way too much time listening to the gurus, life coaches, influencers, and friends that claim "they did it" so you can too - that you can "manifest" your dream house, dream body, and dream life if only you will follow these few simple steps.
If only it were that simple.
That's not to say that I don't value the idea of cultivating a positive, hopeful mindset. Of course I do. I'm all about practicing gratitude, sparking joy, and maintaining a growth mindset however I can, but I no longer shame myself or blame myself when life doesn't go exactly how I want it to.
And I am increasingly more conscious about cultivating relationships with people who will offer me the honesty, grace, and wisdom I deserve through ALL the ups and downs of life. (The people who shame me through my heartbreaks no longer get a seat at my table.)
Because life is a mixed bag.
It just is.
We simply can't control everything that happens.
Sure, we can control SOME things, but we can't control everything.
And I want my life to be full of people and things that will honor and respect that fact.
So while some will continue to say that "good vibes" are the only ones that are welcome, I will continue to say that "honest vibes" contain the real magic.