There is a SUPER popular phrase that I see all the time, all over the internet and in books and it goes something like this:
YOU ARE WORTHY OF HAVING THE LIFE YOU DESIRE.
And quite honestly, I would say that is completely true. I AM WORTHY OF HAVING THE LIFE I DESIRE.
I desire to have a fully functioning body that allows me to eat what I want and do what I want without causing me excessive amounts of pain and inflammation. And yes, I am worthy of that.
I desire to have enough money to buy the house of my dreams that I lost when my son landed in the hospital and had to have surgery that wasn't paid for by insurance. And yes, I am worthy of that.
I desire to have a meaningful relationship with people that I have loved and lost for one reason or another. And yes, I am worthy of that.
I desire to have healthy children that do not require extensive medical treatments. And yes, I am worthy of that.
But just because I desire these things, does not mean I will get them.
I can think all the happy thoughts, vibe all the positive vibes, meditate on all the healing meditations, pray all the hopeful prayers and still not get everything I want.
It's just the reality of life.
And anyone who tells you otherwise is just living with immense privilege.
What about the mother who lost her child to cancer? Didn't she deserve to have her prayers and positive vibes answered just like the mother who took her child home from the same hospital floor with a clean bill of health?
What about the refugee that prayed and maintained positive thoughts in a war-torn country that took the lives of their loved ones? Didn't they deserve to have the life they desired?
What about the couple that is unable to have children, despite years and years of effort? Don't they deserve to have the baby they desire?
Of course they do. They all deserve all the good things.
I call bullshit to this phrase.
It's simply not helpful and I think it's hurting our society more than helping us.
Yes, most of us do actually deserve what we desire, but we live in a messy world. We don't get to control everything. And yes, we can do our best to make the most of our lives. We can practice the principles found within positive psychology. We can do the work to heal our broken hearts, minds, and bodies. We can learn to reframe our thoughts and cultivate a peaceful, hopeful mindset. We can take steps to move in the direction of joy and peace, but we do not get to have everything we want just because we desire it.
Let's all call bs to that concept and move on.